Thebridesmom's Blog

My heart is aching tonight. I lost my special boy today; my beautiful greyhound Diddy. He was black, sleek and very beautiful. I named him Diddy because when I brought him home 13 months ago, he was quite taken with looking at himself in the mirror. His track name was JJ’s Miami though he never raced. Diddy was a spook;  which meant that he had tremendous social anxiety and was extremely afraid of people and new experiences.

I brought Diddy home last July. I was so excited to add him to “my pack” of two other greyhounds and a cocker spaniel. He was physically beautiful and the fact that he was a special needs dog made me want to help him even more. He took a long time to warm up to me. I just kept giving him his space and talking to him. Soon, I was on the floor near him, trying to show him I was worthy of his trust. After a few weeks, he let me stroke him but kept a wary eye on me.

I worked hard to show him that living here with me was a safe place for him. It took him a very long time, but he attached to me and from that point on he was always on my hip. He trusted me. He sought me out for affection. When I got out of my chair in the livingroom, he got into it. If I left my bedroom door open, he was nestled into my bed with his head on my pillow. I was so proud of his progress.

Just this past Easter day, Diddy cockroached for the first time. Cockroaching is when a dog lies on his back with his underside exposed and his feet in the air. I remember specifically smiling to myself when I saw him do that. That was a message that he was feeling safe in my home. A lot of progress made in about 9 months.

Oh, he still often retreated upstairs when company arrived. But sometimes he stayed downstairs and watched warily from the other room. He had a little quirk where he would puff out his cheeks as he was breathing – when he was nervous. I loved that little puff in his cheek.

He was acclimating to my daughter as well. They didn’t hit it off right away. My daughter was used to my other greys who were calm and loving. She had a hard time understanding why Diddy just didn’t “get over” his spookiness. She was frustrated that he didn’t warm up to her right away. So they kept their distance from each other for a while. But Diddy was coming around. In the last month or so, Diddy felt safe enough around my daughter that he would stay in the livingroom when she came in and had even started allowing her to pet him. More progress.

But all the while Diddy was my special boy. Once he attached to me, his eyes lit up when I came home. He jumped up and down in his excitement. And I gave him a lot of attention and love. He was my future. He was the one I had expected to move with me into my later years and I was happy to know that he would be with me.

Yesterday, some neighborhood kids cut through my yard and left the gate open. When I let the boys out mid-day, they escaped the backyard. I was able to nab my other greys fairly quickly, but Diddy got scared and ran off. I searched for him for hours; even my daughter searched for him. I talked to everyone out and about in town, made flyers and posted them everywhere; went to the police station to report him lost, talked to the mailman who called his colleagues to keep an eye out during their deliveries. I even went to the local pizza place to give the delivery guys a flyer with my phone number. There were some sightings yesterday but I could never seem to catch up with him.

I called and called for him all around town, hoping he would hear my voice and come to me. I even called him at suppertime hoping he was somewhere nearby. But nothing. I felt sick. I felt guilty that he was out there alone and scared. I was supposed to protect him.

I tossed and turned all night. I got up at 4 am and put the boys out and took my flashlight out into the backyard hoping he was lurking around the yard somewhere. No sign of him. Little did I know that it was already too late.

This morning at 6:30 am, I got a phone call from a woman I knew who asked me if I as missing one of my dogs. She said she had seen a black dog along the highway near the railroad bridge, just a few blocks from my house. I threw on my clothes, filled with anxiety and hope. I drove down to the site she had described. It was a two lane state highway with two extra lanes under the bridge for turning. I pulled up to the stop sign.

I looked for him in the tall grass and weeds along the road thinking maybe he was hiding there. I called his name, but couldn’t see him anywhere. I drove down through the turning lane and made a U-turn. And there he was; lying next to the median in the turning lane. I was so scared he was hurt or worse.

I pulled up to his body and jumped out of my car onto the median and walked towards him. He was so still and I called his name and there was no response. I could see he was dead. And I just started to scream and wail his name as I paced on the median. Cars and trucks were passing but I was so enveloped in grief that I didn’t care. I didn’t want to touch him and I didn’t want anyone to run over his body, so I just left my car there and I wailed and cried trying to figure out what to do for my special boy, Diddy.

After a few minutes, a man on a motorcycle stopped – thinking I had hit something. When I explained that I had just found my companion, my baby boy…dead, he understood. He offered to pick up Diddy’s body and move it across the two lanes to the field. I pulled a blanket out of my trunk and he threw it over Diddy’s body. He told me to move my car out of traffic and I pulled it over.  And he carried the body across the street and laid him on the grass beneath a billboard sign. I was still pretty hysterical and this wonderful man tried to call his wife to see if she could locate a pick up truck to move the body to the vet. He had phone reception issues & I told him I would find someone and not to worry. He was such a good Samaritan. I will never forget his kindness.

I came back to the house trying to figure out who I could call for help. My daughter’s fiance was out of town. I called the vet but they don’t pick up the bodies. I called a friend, but it was just 7:15 and he didn’t pick up.I called my daughter, who was at a girlfriend’s house, to break the news and ask if any of her friends had a pick up and could help. I didn’t want Diddy’s body to stay at the roadside in the heat.  Just then my dear friend Bob returned my call and offered to help his hysterical friend (me) with this horrible task. He met me at the scene, loaded the body in his van and we went to the vet’s office. They came out and took Diddy’s body on a stretcher, still wrapped in my blanket. It was the least I could do for him, my darling Diddy; to make sure his body was treated with respect. He was finally safe.

I haven’t loved a dog like this since I was a child. He will always be in my heart with his puffed out cheeks and his smiling eyes and his body attached to my hip. He will always be my special boy.